For the Long Haul

I used to fear long term relationships. I would put in minimal effort just to keep things going, but never enough to be vulnerable and grow. I am so thankful to have found a love without fear. A love that allows me to be vulnerable. I have never had such peace and joy in my life like I do now. This is the kind of love and happiness that I never thought I would find and I want nothing more than to cherish it each and everyday for the rest of my life. My pastor recently did a sermon on life long commitment that really hit home for me. I just wanted to share a few of the things he said as they pertain to this new journey in my life.

I have been the girl who was always in a relationship and my parents have seldom approved. According to my parents they were never the "right one" and it is not until now that I understand why.  It is so important to have the same perspective on life; a singular set of values. As humans we tend to look for external things and believe that those are the things that hold us together; we are sorely mistaken. There has to be so much more than the external things in a relationship because if you have a relationship built for the long haul you will always see the beauty in the person you love. Our values must line up as we make a commitment to do life together as a team.

It's also important to have a managed mind. Love is a decision, not an emotion. The emotion forms in the beginning of the relationship and it is hard not to get wrapped up in it. A relationship built for the long haul is based upon the decision to love that person each and every day. We must pick our battles and not lose site of the big picture when the little things consume our mind. Trouble is normal in life and we must accept that we won't be happy everyday. Most of all, we must not allow our love to be destroyed by life, but grow in God through prayer.

Love must roll with the seasons. The emotion is so strong for me right now and I want to skip to the next season, but I must ground myself from jumping ahead too soon. It is important to experience and enjoy each season of love; from courtship to engagement, to marriage and kids, each season is filled with ups and downs and we must cherish each and every one because their will be a day we look back overwhelmed with joy of seasons passed.

A relationship built for the long haul must share the same activities. It is important to experience romance, fun and laughter together. Our courtship has only just begun and we have spent an incredible amount of time together enjoying different activities from a comedy show, the zoo, the Rangers game to just afternoons spent talking and laughing under a big oak tree in the park. I absolutely love every second I spend with him and it doesn't matter what we do together; I just want to be by his side. We are growing to love the different activities in each other's lives and finding new ways to share and enjoy them together as a couple.

Lastly, a life long commitment must share the same spirit. A marriage for the long haul is the death of two people and the resurrection of one flesh. When you die to yourself you handle situations in marriage the way God would. "And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'" ~ Luke 9:23 God has a plan for each marriage, but it has to be aligned by him.

Let me simply say... I am so blessed and thankful to have found this love.